Sayuri’s Story

“Yuichi!”

Yuichi stopped and turned around. He was surprised to see the girl that was calling him. “Sayuri?”

Sayuri was standing in front of a shop. “A-ha-ha-” She gave Yuichi a big smile.

Yuichi and Sayuri were going to the same school.

They sat down in a cafe. Yellow and orange brightness of sunset shined across the street, through the window, and entered the cafe. Combined with the music of Canon, wafted in the air. Yuichi tasted a sip of coffee and put it down.

“Sorry for what happened earlier in school. Sayuri is too out of the way, right? Later I must apologize to Mai too.”

Just this morning, Sayuri asked Mai something Mai didn’t want her to get involved. Mai said something harsh. Sayuri was very down after that and didn’t talk to anyone afterwords.

“Sayuri, you’ve noticed something didn’t you?”

“Pardon?”

“No…Nothing. I was just talking to myself. Ahaha! Ahahahaha—”

“If Mai and Yuichi don’t want to say, then it’s better if Sayuri don’t ask.” Sayuri looked down at the ground. Her tone seemed to be depressed.

Yuichi dazed for a moment. Sayuri looked up and saw him gazing at her, she realized and showed a smiling face. “A-ha-ha— I said some baffling things, didn’t I? Sayuri is quite weird today.”

Yuichi came back to earth. “Sayuri, can I ask you a question?”“Yes?”

“Why do you care so much about Mai? Just like Mai’s sister, always protecting her, helping her.”

“It’s Sayuri who receives all the help.”

“Huh?”

“You just said ‘just like a sister’, right? Actually, Sayuri really did became a sister before. Although it’s a story long ago.”

Sayuri started to recall her memories.

“Sayuri is going to be an older sister soon. The child that’s about to born is going to see you as an idol. You have to keep this in mind, Sayuri.” A deep strong voice came from a man siting in front of young Sayuri.

“Yes dad. I’ll try my best to be a good sister! I won’t embarrass our family.” Sayuri answered soft but firm.

Sayuri is a polite child with good manners. This is not only because she is a thoughtful girl, but also because her father never coddle a child. Her father often took her to friends’ banquet and she always greets everyone she met. Because of this, a lot of people praised Sayuri.

She was proud of herself, too. So she thought she should be strict to her younger brother, Kazuya, too. Just like her father.

When Kazuya was baby, he cried almost every day. When that happened, Sayuri will squat and looks at him, say, “Don’t cry! Children in this family is not allowed to be capricious!” Deep in her heart, Sayuri really wanted to do is to stroke Kazuya’s head gently to comfort him. However, she believed it’s good for Kazuya to be exacting to him.

Kazuya was a slower growing child. He still couldn’t talk after entered kindergarten and didn’t smile too much.

One day Sayuri was taking Kazuya to play outside, they saw another pair of siblings. But the sister of that boy was holding his hand. Sayuri didn’t. She stoped and watched the siblings go further and further until Kazuya made a sound. She turned her eyes back on Kazuya, then she realized something and still went on her way without holding Kazuya’s hand.

Kazuya was always alone. His body was weak so Sayuri was responsible to pick up.

Once on her day to pick Kazuya up, she saw Kazuya crouching in a corner and sobbing. No one was beside. Sayuri didn’t know what happened and she didn’t ask.

She was always strict to Kazuya. She thought it was a good thing, pampering is no good for him.

Sayuri and Kazuya usually ate dinner at home together. One time Kazuya was crying at a piece of carrot he was holding. He was picky of carrots. “You have to finish everything! Picky eating will make you weaker.” Sayuri said, looking at him seriously.

Last time when they went outside, on their way home, there was a store. Sayuri didn’t even glanced the toys laid’s out and passed. Kazuya stoped at the water gun. You could see his desire to buy it. Sayuri sensed Kazuya stoped. She turned around and saw him eagerly looking at the gun. “No.” Sayuri started off again.

In fact, she really wanted to be more gentle to Kazuya. She wanted to buy candies and toys for him, wanted to see his laugh and smile.

In a bleak winter, Kazuya was sick terribly. He was sent to the hospital.

“Dad, when Kazuya gets better, can I stroke his head?” Sayuri’s sound was a little husky, “Can I say ‘you tried so hard’?”

“Uh… Let’s do it. Kazuya will be rejoiced. Definitely.” His sound was more deep and full with unsure.

But Kazuya’s condition didn’t get better, and Sayuri made a decision, she is going to be a “bad girl” this time.

It was also a sunset just like the time they were talk now. Sayuri went out the hospital and bought bag of candies, the gun Kazuya once wanted and other treats. She carried them by herself and rushed to the hospital. When it was time for patients to rest, she hold bag, quietly went to Kazuya’s ward.

“Kazuya!” She whispered in a low voice and shoved his shoulder to woke him up. Kazuya woke up and opened his eyes. He saw his sister was beside him and was scared in the first place. He sat up instantly. He didn’t know why she is here. Sayuri saw the fear in his eyes, and a lump came into her throat. “Kazuya, I’m not angry with you.” Sayuri tried to use looked at his eyes and shook her head firmly. “I’m here to play with Kazuya.” Kazuya was confused. Sayuri showed him the bag and dropped the candies on his bed. Kazuya didn’t move.

Sayuri opened a bag of cookie, handed one to Kazuya, and let him to open his mouth. “Here Kazuya. Ah—” Kazuya still didn’t move. Sayuri stopped for a moment, then she broke the piece into half. She stuffed it to his hand. “Let’s eat together!” Sayuri crunched one first. “This is also the first time I have eaten cookies.” Kazuya took a small bite.

“It’s tasty isn’t it?”

“Hum.”

Sayuri leaned on the armrest and looked him in the eye. “When you’re fully recovered, let’s eat together again?”

Kazuya bowed his head a bit, seemed to be noticing something. But after a moment of silence, he nod and answered in a small voice. Sayuri finally smiled, with relief. She opened the bag and grabbed the two water guns out. “Look! Water guns too!” She handed one to Kazuya. “Though there’s no water inside. But you can play with water inside when you’re all cured.” Kazuya was shocked to see the gun on his hand, didn’t hear what Sayuri said. He seemed to be thinking something.

“Puff!” Sounded from the gun on Sayuri’s hand. It startled Kazuya and drove him back to the real world.

“You know? Your sister is actually quite athletic!” Sayuri said with her eyes turning red.

“Hum.” Kazuya nodded, but not looking her in the eye.

“Puff!” She pulled the trigger again. “You know? Your sister actually knows a lot of interesting things!” Her voice was choking. Tears were filling her eyes. Her body was trembling.

“Hum.” Kazuya still not looking at her, but he can hear her voice had changed. His nose acid, his eyes were bittered too.

“Puff!” She pulled the trigger again. “You know? I actually really loves Kazuya! Really! Really! Really love Kazuya!” She couldn’t stop her tears anymore.

“Hum!” Kazuya bursted into tears.

In this muted room, only their sobbing could be heard.

“Puff!”

Sayuri suddenly stopped crying. She wiped up her tears with surprise. She saw Kazuya was holding up the gun and he pulled the trigger. She saw Kazuya laughed, laughed with tears, laughed with something she had never seen on Kazuya before. She smiled too…

That’s the first and the last time they played together.

Kazuya didn’t make through that winter.

“Kazuya should have been fortunate to have a good sister like you.” Sayuri’s father said, standing in front of Kazuya’s tombstone.

“Really?” Sayuri murmured to herself. Snowflakes fluttered with the cold winter wind. From then on, she started to call herself by using her name. Because she could only see herself objectively.

“I can’t even smile. Just like Kazuya once was.” Sayuri covered her left wrist, where there’s a scar. She continued to talk with Yuichi. “But after I met Mai, I relearned how to smile.” She looked at Yuichi and smiled gently. “Sayuri didn’t help Mai. It’s Sayuri who was redeemed. Sayuri is not sure if I had treated Mai as Kazuya or not. But when the first time we met, I had this feeling to stay with her.”

“Ah-” Yuichi finally gave some reaction.

“Do you know what’s the name of this music?”

“No, but it seems familiar.”

“It’s Canon in D. Pachelbel’s Canon.”

“Canon?”

“While repeating the same melody, gradually add a variety of beautiful harmonies. Just like in the days that seem to be the same at first glance, it would be nice to have some changes gradually.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“Maybe someday, when I bring back the memories of Kazuya, there is something else then sadness in my heart.”

Sayuri started to thinking of she and Kazuya in a garden, a farm, holding hands and water guns. Slowly moving forward, talking and laughing.